The Saddest Post ever..

Random song of the moment - any emo song will do...

It's another hopeless day. My existence really is a failure. Should cut all ties from friends, and quick. I can just fade in to the forgotten memories. Just like lightning, it flashes in just a second. The only evidence of it's existence is the thunder that comes after that, or the light that is carved in your memory. After that, it will be forgotten, as it's of no importance.

The objective of my existence is my ability and books. Once they got another person to do it for them, then it is my time to fade. I was never the main character of my own story, I was never meant to be. I was starting to think, like "Was all this real or not?" Was it me in those pictures? Was it me who is typing this post now? I don't know. It seemed real, but somehow, makes me feel like I was dreaming. Could this all be just an illusion, and the reality sleeps deep within our hearts?

"The closer you are to light, the bigger your shadow becomes."
Something I learnt from Kingdom Hearts. You are in the light, but you can never run away from darkness. You can stay forever in the darkness, but then you'll never find light. To lose is to find, and to find is to lose. You may be the light, but inside your heart sleeps a dark desire. The desire is something that can't be found out, so you hid it in the depths of your heart, wishing no one would find out...

"Only when you succeed that people will look up to you."
This comes from a newspaper. Yes, only when you succeed. This is the truth of reality. People benchmark that certain people cannot do this or that, and soon the said people think they are like that. "I cannot do this," "I cannot do that," People benchmark themselves. So why is that some handicapped people can do, and some can't? It's not impossible. It's just a matter of what you want to do. You think you can do it, then you will. You think you cannot, then you can't. Easy as that.

They once said teaching women to read was impossible. But then, look around. Women are as successful as men. They said women is to stay at home and finish all the housework. Some are worse. They said "Your house is so untidy. It's time for you to get a wife and help you clean it all up." Women are not maids. They are not slaves, men. We are not slaves! You got that?! I so hate it when someone says this. It's like wives are meant to be maids! You'll get a feel of it next time when it's your turn to be a woman!

As I said, my existence seems to be a failure. Is it really me? Are these hands mine? Do they move at my will? Is what I see real? Is this a dream? I don't know. But I have to keep living. It's the only way to continue. I don't know how much more years I could live, but I'm not thinking of death right now. I have to live.

Praised to be Yevon.

Faram.