Random song of the moment - any emo song will do...
It's another hopeless day. My existence really is a failure. Should cut all ties from friends, and quick. I can just fade in to the forgotten memories. Just like lightning, it flashes in just a second. The only evidence of it's existence is the thunder that comes after that, or the light that is carved in your memory. After that, it will be forgotten, as it's of no importance.
The objective of my existence is my ability and books. Once they got another person to do it for them, then it is my time to fade. I was never the main character of my own story, I was never meant to be. I was starting to think, like "Was all this real or not?" Was it me in those pictures? Was it me who is typing this post now? I don't know. It seemed real, but somehow, makes me feel like I was dreaming. Could this all be just an illusion, and the reality sleeps deep within our hearts?
"The closer you are to light, the bigger your shadow becomes."
Something I learnt from Kingdom Hearts. You are in the light, but you can never run away from darkness. You can stay forever in the darkness, but then you'll never find light. To lose is to find, and to find is to lose. You may be the light, but inside your heart sleeps a dark desire. The desire is something that can't be found out, so you hid it in the depths of your heart, wishing no one would find out...
"Only when you succeed that people will look up to you."
This comes from a newspaper. Yes, only when you succeed. This is the truth of reality. People benchmark that certain people cannot do this or that, and soon the said people think they are like that. "I cannot do this," "I cannot do that," People benchmark themselves. So why is that some handicapped people can do, and some can't? It's not impossible. It's just a matter of what you want to do. You think you can do it, then you will. You think you cannot, then you can't. Easy as that.
They once said teaching women to read was impossible. But then, look around. Women are as successful as men. They said women is to stay at home and finish all the housework. Some are worse. They said "Your house is so untidy. It's time for you to get a wife and help you clean it all up." Women are not maids. They are not slaves, men. We are not slaves! You got that?! I so hate it when someone says this. It's like wives are meant to be maids! You'll get a feel of it next time when it's your turn to be a woman!
As I said, my existence seems to be a failure. Is it really me? Are these hands mine? Do they move at my will? Is what I see real? Is this a dream? I don't know. But I have to keep living. It's the only way to continue. I don't know how much more years I could live, but I'm not thinking of death right now. I have to live.
Praised to be Yevon.
Faram.
12 January 2012
07 January 2012
New Years, New Problems
Random song of the mo- shut the f*** up, I'm trying to concentrate on my Maths!
Okay... I'm currently doing Maths revision to improve my understanding on lines and angles while writing half of my FF12 walkthrough in Wikia. Great. Double timing. A few days ago I received a message from a Chinese Society member.. dunno who was it, but most likely the graduated senior.
It said the meeting was on a Sunday, and the time clashed with a lunch with my father's colleagues - at the usual place. A place that took 30 minutes to reach from my house. I messaged her back saying that I couldn't attend, and just today I received a call from her.
She was a little annoyed, I could hear that from her voice. Says that I must make sacrifices. I told her I had a "family reunion" to cover up for the lunch thing (not exactly lying, it is a sort of reunion) After she hung up, I was like, "Man, no buffet for me," I knew that my dad's boss had reserved the places for us, so I couldn't possibly refuse, it costs a lot of money. Finally, I gave in. I decided to go.
I'm feeling very suspicious, though. The last meeting was about this year's activities, and why a meeting in January again? My mom was furious when I told her that we had a meeting on Sunday. As the Americans say, "Sunday is my family day. Don't expect me to go back to work on Sunday." No one has the right to stop me from doing my family activities on Sunday.
"My school has never once told us to have a meeting on Sunday!" My mom and aunt said that. "I've been a president of many clubs during my time, but not once I've told the committee to attend a meeting on Sundays." She was really furious. Well, this was not the first time. Most of my holiday meetings are on Sunday, occasionally on weekdays or Sats. No wonder my mom was that mad.
Her petrol money and precious time. My parents aren't all that free, even on weekends. My mom suggests to tell my senior about the natter. Whoa. Hope that Monday is a good day... Faram.
Okay... I'm currently doing Maths revision to improve my understanding on lines and angles while writing half of my FF12 walkthrough in Wikia. Great. Double timing. A few days ago I received a message from a Chinese Society member.. dunno who was it, but most likely the graduated senior.
It said the meeting was on a Sunday, and the time clashed with a lunch with my father's colleagues - at the usual place. A place that took 30 minutes to reach from my house. I messaged her back saying that I couldn't attend, and just today I received a call from her.
She was a little annoyed, I could hear that from her voice. Says that I must make sacrifices. I told her I had a "family reunion" to cover up for the lunch thing (not exactly lying, it is a sort of reunion) After she hung up, I was like, "Man, no buffet for me," I knew that my dad's boss had reserved the places for us, so I couldn't possibly refuse, it costs a lot of money. Finally, I gave in. I decided to go.
I'm feeling very suspicious, though. The last meeting was about this year's activities, and why a meeting in January again? My mom was furious when I told her that we had a meeting on Sunday. As the Americans say, "Sunday is my family day. Don't expect me to go back to work on Sunday." No one has the right to stop me from doing my family activities on Sunday.
"My school has never once told us to have a meeting on Sunday!" My mom and aunt said that. "I've been a president of many clubs during my time, but not once I've told the committee to attend a meeting on Sundays." She was really furious. Well, this was not the first time. Most of my holiday meetings are on Sunday, occasionally on weekdays or Sats. No wonder my mom was that mad.
Her petrol money and precious time. My parents aren't all that free, even on weekends. My mom suggests to tell my senior about the natter. Whoa. Hope that Monday is a good day... Faram.
02 January 2012
New Years and School
Random song of the day - Sanctuary (No One's Dream Anymore Remix) - Utada Hikaru
"I need more affection than you know
In you and I there's a new land
Angels in flight
I need more affection than you know
A sanctuary, my sanctuary, yeah"
This is not so random. I'm listening to it now. Good song! You may say I'm too obsessed with KH, but this is no doubt a good remix! Maybe watching too much Kairi/Sora/Riku or Namine/Roxas/Axel or the confusion of the relationship that Sora loves kairi and Roxas loves Namine or Riku somehow looks better in KH2 than KH. Or because KH 3D is almost out that I can't calm down, maybe like what I first heard about KH: confusing. And most probably is also the trio's - Axel, Roxas and Xion - fault. And now I'm obsessed with the number 13!!! I can even remember all the Organization XIII members! 1) Xemnas (MANSEX, hahahha!) 2) Xigbar 3)Xaldin 4)Vexen 5) Lexaeus 6) Saix 7) Zexion 8) Axel!!! 9)Demyx 10) Luxord 11) Marluxia 12) Larxene 13) Roxas and the leftovers... Xion. I've got some fun facts on Kh and 13...
P.S. AkuRoku Day is on August 13th
On the topic! It's new year... boo!!!! School reopens and new teachers, need to buy the god-damn-it exercise books and bring them back home. My new class is just next to the dump, and very very very far away from the canteen and gate. We have to endure with the smelly rubbish and far far away gate. The good thing is, the teachers will never hear us even if the class is a war zone (you all know what I mean) and we can save time to run down the class to dump the rubbish, because as I said, the dump is just next to us, just toss them out the window!
I'm turning 15... I'm old... it's over my ideal age...
"I need more affection than you know
In you and I there's a new land
Angels in flight
I need more affection than you know
A sanctuary, my sanctuary, yeah"
This is not so random. I'm listening to it now. Good song! You may say I'm too obsessed with KH, but this is no doubt a good remix! Maybe watching too much Kairi/Sora/Riku or Namine/Roxas/Axel or the confusion of the relationship that Sora loves kairi and Roxas loves Namine or Riku somehow looks better in KH2 than KH. Or because KH 3D is almost out that I can't calm down, maybe like what I first heard about KH: confusing. And most probably is also the trio's - Axel, Roxas and Xion - fault. And now I'm obsessed with the number 13!!! I can even remember all the Organization XIII members! 1) Xemnas (MANSEX, hahahha!) 2) Xigbar 3)Xaldin 4)Vexen 5) Lexaeus 6) Saix 7) Zexion 8) Axel!!! 9)Demyx 10) Luxord 11) Marluxia 12) Larxene 13) Roxas and the leftovers... Xion. I've got some fun facts on Kh and 13...
P.S. AkuRoku Day is on August 13th
On the topic! It's new year... boo!!!! School reopens and new teachers, need to buy the god-damn-it exercise books and bring them back home. My new class is just next to the dump, and very very very far away from the canteen and gate. We have to endure with the smelly rubbish and far far away gate. The good thing is, the teachers will never hear us even if the class is a war zone (you all know what I mean) and we can save time to run down the class to dump the rubbish, because as I said, the dump is just next to us, just toss them out the window!
I'm turning 15... I'm old... it's over my ideal age...
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