Life updates (and some other dump)

I was wondering if I mentioned anything about me starting the adult life but apparently not! Last actual post about life was a month before I started working! The pandemic really fucked up everyone's sense of time...

So yeah, I started working. Not a surprise since being a neet is unsustainable for someone with a hobby like mine. A lot happened since that last life update post (mostly my mental state but we're not talking about that rn and I haven't felt that shitty since the new year so that's a good sign? I guess?), the most significant change being I AM A MMORPG PLAYER NOW HOLY SHIT-

Past me would never believe it because I am terrified of multiplayer. But the sexy fanart and memes are too good to pass up so I caved. I actually started playing the expanded free trial since August 2020 but didn't sub until the new expansion announcement in February 2021. I was in deep man. I played FF14 whenever time allowed which means 13-14 hour gaming sessions during my off days, which now that I think about it, was really bad. The hype died down a bit after I finished Endwalker but it's not the lack of content or activities, in fact I have tons of levelling to do, but the burnout caught up. That, and ping is super bad so I can't play without disconnecting or lagging every few minutes. Frustrating stuff. Also I'm just a lousy player so I can't go into multiplayer activities without having an anxiety attack. Anyways here's my character, it's cringe but it's my brand of cringe.

Since I broke my own rule of not playing any game on the PC, consoles have been lying dead for a year at least. I remember booting up two of the three to play some Tales and... promptly went back to FF14. There aren't many new games that caught my eye in the past year, I'm not interested in the newer Assassin's Creed games, I don't have a PS5 for Tales of Arise, and I've given up on getting AC3 Liberation at this point. Plus, I don't know if I have the time to play during weekdays after work. It's always so much easier just click the FF14 launcher and sign in. I'll go back to consoles, someday...

Gaming consoles are not the only things getting ignored. The only novels on my shelf right now are a few completed series and two ongoing, one of which is getting less attention than the other (looking at you TUL, I'm so sorry that you got sidelined for a series which I have been following for 12 years now but sometimes life do be like that).

SSMY hyperfixation died down a bit but I'm still buying the manga without a care in the world (since I'm earning my own keep now hah!), still makes me roll on the bed in silent screams whenever I think about their wholesome dynamic and let's not forget the FLOOR. Ever since sensei pulled out all the stops in that chapter things have been hornier and hornier each chapter. Just when we thought stuff couldn't get better she makes us go batshit crazy about something else.

Of course there's my latest hyperfixation, Netflix's She-Ra, or as the people call it, SPOP. Everything that has to be said was said in the review post so go read it! Just know that I've had gay brainworms since early March and it's not going away anytime soon. It's so gay. Soooooooo gay.

Art-wise, I had a lot of time to hone my sklls in the 2 years since the pandemic started... I've gained new skills including: non-explicit nsfw, tongue, fluids, blood, backgrounds (but not really) and SHIP ART (this is important). The 1 year anniversary of my fangame also passed in September 2021, so there's a special illustration I did for all my hard work, expanded on the yakuza AU for ssmy/iwnry, drew more cringe for FF14... Basically I've been drawing a full piece every month, sometimes more. Except December because EW happened. Here's the summary:

Sadly you won't be able to find any of my art anywhere anymore. One of the biggest things I did was the deletion of my deviantart page. It was hard for me to do because I grew up with the site and my art journey was very much influenced by the community, but I no longer feel like posting my art online, not after all the failed attempts and disappointment. The art I made was still meant to be shared, such is the nature of an artist, so I'm still figuring out the best way to do this without actually posting online. Until then, the only way for anyone to see anything I make is to wait for the yearly art summaries, or until I couldn't take it anymore and go back to pixiv. Stay tuned I guess?

Here's an artzine I made last year (it's choppy bc CSP is a bitch and wouldn't let you export in pdf format unless it's the jpn version of the program).

Today I present to you, a banger from 2013 that I discovered thanks to a catradora fanfic I read:

Aaaaaaand that's all folks! Here's to a better rest of 2022!

Review: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)

Current mood: THEY'RE GAY YOUR HONOR

Ok. I can't believe I'm actually writing a review post before a new year post that was in my drafts since January. And I only have one post in 2021 which is crazy to even think about but I digress. I'm not here to reflect on my inconsistent updates but to scream about a Netflix show. So here we are.

See, the thing about Youtube is that you can watch one random video and get 5814467412 more recommended and you just spiral down. That was what happened. SPOP might have came out in 2018 and officially ended mid 2020 (so that's 2 years since) but I have some scenes shoved in the back of my mind that make me go 'huh that was a thing', which prompted me to actually watch the show  ̶o̶n̶ ̶m̶y̶ ̶d̶a̶d̶'̶s̶ ̶T̶V̶b̶o̶x̶ ̶c̶o̶u̶g̶h̶ so anyway I made a bad decision to binge it a day before work starts and it was bad. I spent every waking moment of the first week of March thinking of nothing but fucking gays. Spoilers I guess?

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018) is a Dreamworks production aired in Netflix with 5 seasons in a cartoony-anime style reminiscent of ATLA. It has little to do with the og She-Ra cartoons from the 80s, instead taking its concept and characters to tell a different story. It also has no ties to He-Man so basically you can go into this blind.

Title card for S1-4, featuring a gay ass rainbow

Thoughts on Sweet Pool, 6 years later...

So. I got a new PC early 2020, which means reinstalling any BL visual novels I had. I've long since dropped Omerta but I still have Lamento in my folders. It's a pain to go through everything again, but nothing is as much of a hassle as replaying Sweet Pool. One, the game is at odds with the english patch and I have no idea when the save function will decide to stop working; second, the english patch is incomplete and buggy in of itself. I managed to complete everything with little incident (I expected the saves to fail so no big deal), thanks to the fanbook.

The game is still as disgusting as I remembered. Ahh I feel oddly nostalgic. I remember playing the game alone in my shared dorm room, feeling sick whenever I use the toilet, restless nights and anxiety for a whole week... it scarred me, yet I think of this game fondly.

The last time I played may have been 5 years ago, but I can remember most of the important details, thanks to 4shiki's great review of the game. The game relies heavily on exposition for its world building, coupled with disgusting imagery and insane biblical references.

Despite being a visual novel, the main theme is not romance, and as the steam page appropriately describes: 'something deeper and darker than love'. There are three characters whom the protagonist Youji can 'romance', but none of the 6 endings are good. Only Tetsuo's route has any resemblance of a twisted love with 4 endings to his name. The game has rape (what vn doesn't), cannibalism, gore, cults and the disturbing supernatural. There is nothing sweet about Sweet Pool. The tone of the game is sombre and unsettling, but it just makes the briefest moments of intimacy even more real.

Whatever that happened between Youji and Tetsuo isn't particularly romantic. It's all stuff you could observe in a typical tooth-rotting fluffy shoujo manga and I can count all these moments with only one hand! 

After some thought, the only clever description I can come up for this horrifying game is 'omegaverse with hemorrhoids'. 

在家颓废

 嗯。MCO开始就在家颓废。

其实3月到8月都有在做正经事，只是上课变成online，很没有上课的感觉，「上班」也是到7月才开始。8月学期结束之后就算毕业了，有同学马上立刻就上班，有些休息几个礼拜才开工，而我……就在家继续颓废呵呵。

关系没搞好人缘不好就是没那么容易找到工作啦，暂时就帮前辈带班，也算有赚钱啦……

不过这几个月也在做些有的没的……9月出炉的同人游戏花了5个月，3月开始学编织做到现在，5个月内画了好多画（多到自己都快崩溃了还继续画，真的要命），可是很奇怪的就是那么多时间还是没有把没读的小说看完。

（今天看了一本少年，出版商快点翻译啊啊啊啊啊）

Review: Hikaru no Go

Current mood: Early 2000s Jpop man...

It's quarantine and there's nothing to do but hang out in the ssmy discord all day listening to people gush about their favourite animes. Hikaru no Go... Hikaru no Go... it's such an old title! It was everyone's childhood (apparently, because I've heard of it but never had enough interest to read it) illustrated by Obata, who then later became famous for Death Note and Bakuman. The art evolution is slow and you wouldn't see his signature style until late into the series. Anyway, what was I talking about???? Right! Hikaru no Go is essentially a sports manga, if you consider playing a chess-like board game sports (it is, in fact sports). There's some supernatural elements in it but not to the level of KnB or puriten if you get my drift. The sport in question is a board game called Go, which is stereotypically depicted to be only played by balding old men.

Review: Ao no Flag (Blue Flag)

Current mood: ...

I joined a Sasaki and Miyano discord recently (and became a server mod wow!), it keeps me productive during the pandemic. Two members started gushing about the final chapter of a certain series, which caught my attention. They were very passionate about it, so I went and dug myself a blackhole into a world of teenage romantic angst.

Review: Tales of Xillia 2

Current mood: FOR YOU JULIUS, I SHALL FORSAKE THE WORLD

I'm playing an 8 year old game. I always have a knack for completing sequels first huh... (Actually, yes and no. I finished Jude's side of Xillia so technically I've finished 90% of the story, but since I haven't played Milla's side yet, I'm not writing a review. I used to have a draft for it but that was nearly 5 years ago, I deleted it since my opinions have changed and some content isn't relevant anymore). To put it in simple terms, Xillia 2 is similar to FF13-2 in terms of plot. There is just too many similarities between these two games. Fair warning: I may get emotional suddenly in the review so pardon me. Like Berseria, knowing the spoilers do not automatically make you immune to feels.

Review: Promare (2019)

Current mood: I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW I WILL BE HERE FOR YOU WHEREVER YOU GO YEAH I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW-

Around the time Weathering with You is set to air in local theaters, something else was also airing around the same time in the US. It's not as popular as Makoto Shinkai's latest scenery porn film, it's colourful, it's loud, it's hammy, it's - PROMARE. It's a crime for it to not be aired in Malaysia I swear my countrymen have no tastes and don't know how to appreciate a good hammy movie (among other things). It's all over my twitter timeline, people in the US going to see it 5 times, 15 times, 24 times! The US gets extra showings because of its popularity, Japan just recently stopped airing it since its premiere in May and there are still showings in Taiwan!!! For the first time I wanted to pour my heart and soul and money onto a movie I really want to see and it's. not. AVAILABLE! I wanted to wait for the blu ray to release in February 2020 but I caved. I needed to see it. I need to experience it. Even though it's not in a theater. I'll still buy it when it releases so don't worry.