ok i know this is a good opportunity to make a funny post but i’m gonna try my best to ACTUALLY explain it
basically eurovision was founded in th 50′s after WWII when people were like “we need something to unite europe” so they were like “clearly the most logical thing is a huge music competition”. in 2016 over 250 million people watch it
so each country get to pick a song, it varies how seriously people take this and how they do it, in a lot of countries the tv station picks an entry, in sweden for example we have a six week long battle to the death on national television with around 40 contestors.
the big five always have a secure place in the final cause they pay a lot of money: the uk, italy, germany, spain, france
after the semi finals there are about 25 european countries left (somehow israel, azerbajdzjan and australia is in europe, don’t ask cause i don’t know)
this is where the weird really begins.. like every country can send pretty much WHATEVER they want so this is like the only place where you’ll first see a number that’s like a dubstep opera vampire with nude dancers and then the next number will be someone singing about the political horrors of war.
ok the VOTING is a science in itself each country gives points 1-8, 10, and 12. the twelve points aka DOUZE POINTS is the hot girl that everyone wants.
neighbour voting, aka the unwritten rule that you give high scores to your neighbours, maybe not the 12 but if it’s not the 8 or 10 it’s kinda rude. for example last night THIS HAPPENED
like i make jokes but i’m honestly lowkey mad. ths is like the worst betrayal since the red wedding. and we got 5th place so obviously other countries liked us WHAT GIVES????
“there are no politics in eurovision” like the biggest lie ever. also this year was really dramatic and the two highest scores were between russia and ukraine who would win, and i’m just “what kind of symbolism”
also watch this and this, it basically explains everything you need to know
So three Europeans I follow have been live tweeting and posting about the ESC grand final last Saturday. Boy, was it hilarious! Like one moment Ukraine sang about shit Russia did years ago, another there was a Dark Souls boss singing about Lighthouses, then a girl who has an onion or potato idek, someone brought Jesus back, there's a nude person singing with wolves, and Germany pulled some Harajuku fashion show. Grand finals had a paper towels fashion runway. During the final announcement the jury pulled off a Dumbledore (10000000 points to Ukarine!!!!) when everyone thought Australia was gunna win.
On tumblr ESC may look ridiculous, but the songs were decent. There are a few songs I liked, and most of them were english, only one was french (I think).
Finland's song is OK, and since they were the first to perform it was memorable, but they didn't make it to finals. Croatia's Lighthouse (the Dark Souls boss) was my favorite. Hungary had a really nice song and a handsome singer. Austria was the first non-English song in semi-finals, and I loved it! I don't understand a word but the singer was pretty and the way she sang it blew me away. I thought it was probs french. Belgium had the most upbeat song, almost made it into my top 3 but didn't because it's too funky. Poland brought Jesus back. No kidding. Jamala won ESC 2016 but I can't hear a single word of her song. I just can't hear anything properly. It's very haunting though.
The two semi-finals and grand final is available in the official ESC Youtube channel.
